Money does not guarantee happiness and harmony. Creating sense of satisfaction with whatever one has is the surest way to mental peace and hearty satisfaction. In the West - competing and winning is the key value. This destroys harmony and creates cut throat competitive atmosphere

There is a growing concern in the West about the gradual disappearance of the family value system. This ever-growing phenomenon has been worrying, many a sociologists, educationists and scholars. The problem has grown so much that even the political parties have started taking a serious view of the situation.

David Cameron, a conservative party leader in Britain has expressed his concern over the country's children who are increasingly becoming dadless or momless. "Families," he said, "are not just the basic unit of society," they are "the best" also and "the ultimate source of our society's strength and weaknesses. As almost every social problem that we face comes down to family instability," the family "matters" and is thus, " it is the most important institution."

Iain Duncan Smith, who heads the Center for Social Justice, a think tank on the social security policies of the British Government, gave an interim report to the Tory party detailing as to how the families were breaking up, how cohabitation without marriage was becoming common place, how that was adding burden on the Government. High level concern was visible from title of the report, "Breakdown Britain". The report threw light on the burden, which the Government is forced to bear for these children every year - £ 20 billion (Rs 90,000 crore). This is 20 per cent of Government of India's annual revenue. More than 50 per cent cohabiting couples separate before their child's fifth birthday. Duncan also went on to say that if a child is not brought up by the two parents, 70 per cent of the kids are likely to become drug addict, 50 per cent likely to have alcohol problem, 40 per cent more likely to have debts and 30 per cent likely to be unemployed.

The same is true for the US, where figures are still more alarming. Value system evolved by West has contributed to break down of family and family system. In India, riding on the tides of globalisation, western modernistic models have unfortunately become fashionable, especially among middle class and upper middle class. During the last 50 years joint families have almost vanished where once four generations lived together. In the last two-three decades large-scale migration to cities has taken place, millions of people have gone abroad, millions of labourers have migrated.

Today we see a growing tendency towards nuclear family system. There is manifold increase in divorce cases pending in the courts. As far as value-system is concerned, at least in cities, families are abdicating their responsibility to inculcate family values among children. This responsibility is now being shifted to schools, who hardly pay the required attention.

I distinctly remember my grandfather and uncle telling us stories from Ramayana, Mahabharata and Panchatantra, it was an effective method of transmitting family values. When these two epics were serialised on television, their impact was seen by millions of people in India and abroad. In the absence of value system inculcating tradition and culture, onslaught of the West has had devastating impact on in India, more in cities and less in small towns. Initially, the family, use to take care of the old and the disabled, the unemployed and the underemployed. The family worked as an insurance. In the West it is called social security where family values have almost evaporated. Old people have nowhere to go except oldage homes. Sending their old parents greeting cards on mother's day or father's day ends the children responsibility. Lakhs of parents whose children are staying abroad are facing the brunt of this system.

There is still hope of combining benefits of joint family and freedom of a nuclear family provided we develop a system amenable to demands of modern times. Let us sit together for half-an-hour everyday sharing success and failure, happiness and sorrow and develop the habit of sharing and caring among all family members. Discuss things with the family without fear of reprisal. Mature handling of family gathering could do wonders.

Celebrating holidays with whatever means one has can go a long way in building family values. After all happiness is only a state of mind. Rat race kills. Money does not guarantee happiness and harmony. However, creating sense a of satisfaction with whatever one has is the surest way to mental peace and hearty satisfaction. In the West - competing and winning is more important. This destroys harmony and creates cut throat competitive atmosphere. The alternative, as per Indian thinking, is to invent the best from within and attain the highest possible.

The process can be termed as self - actualisation. This is conductive to peace, harmony and even prosperity. Seeds of values should be sown in formative stages of life.

Courtesy: www.dailypioneer.com, April 8, 2007